Getting stuck in a vicious cycle

This an excellent excerpt from a book "PEACE from Broken Pieces. How to get through what you're going though" by Iyanla vanzant -- what it must be like to gets stuck in a vicious cycle of an abusive relationship, what its like to loose oneself and become possessed by a need to be loved,

"...your desire to know love will have a powerful impact on your life.  It will dredge up everything that is unloving within you and around you. The more I loved him, the more unlovable I felt.  The more unlovable I felt, the uglier I believed I was. The uglier I believed i was, the more unworthy I thought I was in my own mind. The more unworthy I thought I was, the harder I held on to what I thought I did not deserve.  It was painful; loving him and believing I didn't deserve to be loved. Back then, pain was my drug of choice.  It was a vicious cycle that had very little to do with him.   A friend said it was almost like I was possessed. And I was. I was possessed by him that I forgot, on many occasions, to possess myself; to honor me and love me. I was possessed enough to stay with him, knowing, as I did, that there were pieces of me that were badly broken or missing altogether." (Page 14)

Another great quote from page 10 in Iyanla Vanzant book

"When you have no positive pictures and, are unable to access the feelings those pictures would evoke, you have a tendency to make up what you want the pictures to be. More often than not, the pictures you create are not fully developed, causing you to live your life in the blur of false images."